Crowultimate Edition - Full Poster Art PLUS Bonus Tracks and a signed 8x10 Promo Glossy!

Infinite thanks to BLAISE THE SEEKER, FUZZY CRACKLINS, THE SWAMP RECORDS and THE SWAMP KREWE!


"The Battle In Space"

CROW BALLARD vs BLAISE THE SEEKER

Fuzzy took a final swig from his beer, let the can float out of his claw, and secured his helmet to his spacesuit. "I hope I don't have to take a piss in this thing," he thought as he drifted out of the airlock. He fired his jetpack and was soon at the asteroid FZZ-666 which would serve as the battle arena for the Swamp Royale. The lack of gravity would play its part, but really the idea was to force the combatants into spacesuits in accordance with social distancing rules.

CROW BALLARD was the first to arrive, having somehow mastered zero-G without the use of a spacepack, and was soon joined across the barren plain by BLAISE THE SEEKER with his sidekick in tow. Fuzzy's heart leapt in his ancient scaled body -- "What's he doing here?" The thought of any harm coming to ROGER THE MEDITATING MANTIS was too much for Fuzzy to take, but nothing could be done about it now. The battle must begin!

"Two bands enter! One band leaves with a record deal!" declared the reptilian record monger.

At once, Crow Ballard's claws grew to three times their normal size, and began to glow red hot.

"I see that you're making
a huge error --
By taking your eyes
from my Talons of Terror!"

And with that, he swept in and dove straight for the green mantis. "He's going to take out Roger first! The bastard!" thought Fuzzy. This battle was going horribly wrong. Yet the slithery sludgelord had nothing fear, as Roger raised himself on his back legs and fired 2 bolts of pure plasma out of his front claws.

"Behold my own talons of terror!
You are surprised, indeed!
There can be only one end --
Victory for Blaise, and for me!"

Crow Ballard's talons were engulfed in searing hot balls of energy, and he was forced to break off his attack.

Here was Blaise The Seeker's chance to seize the advantage. Blaise The Seeker closed his eyes and a wave of meditation began to emanate from his mind, expanding in all directions like a slow-motion mushroom cloud. Crow Ballard tried to flap his way to safety, but the zero gravity of the asteroid thwarted his retreat and his mind succumbed to the meditation mind wave. "Hey," said Crow, "I don't really want to kill anyone for a record deal anymore."

"Get in there and fight!" screamed Fuzzy, nearly cracking his helmet. And then the wave of calming thoughts reached him. At first, it did nothing. After all, he possessed only a reptilian brain. But then the low-level waves reach his tiny mind, and a surge of calmness overcame him. Suddenly, the scaly band promoter could no longer remember why these two peace-loving psychedelic doomsters where matched in a battle to the death on a remote asteroid.

"Hey dudes, let's forget it and go grab a beer," and with that they returned to Fuzzy's galactic space cruiser and cracked open a few beers. "Right on!"